Eva, I'm sorry, but you will have me

A young lady stroked the back of my hand with her thumb but I didn't look her in the eye. She was saying something but I didn't hear her. I was concentrating on trying not to fall for her. I get crushes easily but I don't think it makes them any less meaningful. More often than not it turns to friendship or admiration depending on how well I've gotten to know them. It's like I date these people or I play the relationship out in my head sometimes before I even say two words to them. The end result being strange because I feel like I know them well but I don't and they don't know me. It sounds childish but I can't think of another way to write it, it's like I like them more than they like me, we're not on the same level emotionally, I've invested too much in something that was predominantly imaginary. I do it every time. Emotional detachment is nigh on impossible for me, more and more as I get older. I always thought it would be the other way round.