Don't put your trust in walls or What I learned this week

After the weekends highs I fell into a black hole of some sort where I felt ridiculously low and heavy on my chest and in my heart. There was a feeling of impending doom that went straight through me like I was being run through with a bloodied extremity extremely slowly. I spent three days on the verge of tears which did come early on. I can honestly say I've never felt anything like it before, I just didn't know what to do at all. When I was at work I pretty much did everything on autopilot, most of the people thought I was "flu-ey" and I just let them believe it, it was easier than than telling them the truth which was unexplainable anyway.

I still don't know why I was in such a state but I'm not anymore. I think the reason for this was a good old chat with other people. I mean I spoke to Nicole at work for over an hour and a half, we touched on my feelings but it was just a good general chat about nothing in particular. Afterwards I chatted with Kymm for a while but I didn't tell her I was down because she was too distracted with work so I just talked about the good times. When I got home I chatted with Georga on msn for a bit which was extraordinarily reassuring and helpful and lifted my spirits somewhat.I also had an email conversation (at the same time as Georga on msn) with Caz whom I hardly know but extremely fond of where I just poured it all out and in a few short words on her part I was feeling better and it may also have had something to do with a small admission to her on my part that seemed to lift more weight from my tired soul.

Now I'm not ow anymore it feels wrong, which is bad of me to think or feel but I do and I can't help feeling bad about feeling good, well I wouldn't go so far as to say good just better, one step at a time I suppose.

and in no particular order:

I learned south of the river ain't so bad

I learned that it's good to talk

I learned not to assume what others are thinking

I learned that it's OK to like Calvin Harris

I learned I should trust myself

I learned I should trust friends

I'm sure I learned more but...