I have a little life so this isn't really a rant or I'm not having a go.
I spend a lot of time wondering this city which is absolutely fucking huge and I see a lot of people going about their business. I wonder what they do and where they go, I catch bits of conversation or the non verbals between friends and couples.
People seem to spend their days slowly shuffling through life talking about reality TV or the latest tragedy in the daily rag and they think it's important. It makes me feel sad that they don't have anything important in their lives or at least aren't prioritising them. They get so worked up over the trivialities of this modern life. I know one person who is very outspoken on her views and can't accept reasoned argument and takes it as a personal slight when you disagree with her. She's very righteous but is having an affair which is a bit hypocritical, I think.
Anyway, I understand people having a need to gossip which, I suppose, stems from genuine human curiosity. I'm not immune to it, I'll occasionally join in out of boredom or to defend someone who isn't there regardless of whether or not they're right because it's completely unfair. I don't like to get involved especially when it's petty. It sounds as if I only think people should talk about important world changing issues but it's not true I just want people to not get so heated when it comes to Jade Goody or Amy Winehouse or Ashley Cole and so on. I have nothing against the examples I just gave, in fact I'm a huge fan of Amy, I just don't want to listen to people spouting the rubbish they just read or misread in the Sun or Heat. I'm getting a bit heated myself here but it's because of the lack of knowledge, integrity, tact that many people seem to lack when it comes to commenting about celebrity or whatever it is they're so passionate and ill informed about not the actual subject matter.
What also saddens me is this crazy pursuit of money lots of people think is the answer to all their prayers, you need a better job so you can have lots of money and be happy - that's just bollocks. I want money to go and do things I like that you have to pay for however I need money to pay bills, stay warm and clean and fed everything else is extra. I'm liking my job less and less but it gives me what I need and a bit of what I want financially and I'm more than happy with the situation. "But mick don't you want a nice holiday or some cash for when you're older" no, not really, I have a basic pension for if I ever get to that age and as for holidays I had one 4 years ago and am still loving the memories. If I want to get away I can go to the coast which is quite a bit cheaper than 2 weeks in the med and for me at least just as refreshing, I live in London for fuck's sake if I can't getaway in this city where can I, failing that I can go hide in a book because books are awesome. I mean if I'm bored and skint I can go to a gallery or a museum or take a walk in the park or along the southbank, the bus is only a pound and you can get quite far from central London in one of those, gigs are free sometimes and you don't have to drink while there (I went out last night and stayed sober, I even moved my feet a little bit)
The sadness I have for the last 2 examples are not strong more like a mild annoyance (if you must, you must...) but this is what genuinely saddens me.
There are people who get up in the morning and the go to work or the garden or something if they're retired and potter around aimlessly just getting by they might cook a meal or pay a bill and go to bed and have a sleep and I don't know if they know there is more out there and if they are happy or even realise they're sad. Do they think that's all there is or this is all I deserve. The people who work hard all their lives mostly for other people and for little or no reward and end up with nothing to show for it except worn fingers and tired eyes. They deserve a whole lot more than the people who think they're happy running around after money or fame or whatever.
So, little lives are mostly bad, some in a you're a prick and you don't deserve it way and others in a you deserve so much more way the "wealth" isn't exactly equal here. I'd imagine some people are genuinely happy going about daily life just sitting there quite content and if they are that's good, that makes me smile. It's the ones that have that feeling and aren't sure what it is and it makes them sad or depressed, I think maybe it might be that they are yearning for more or something different, this gets to me so much it actually hurts to think about.
I have a little life but I've been slowly changing it. I go to gigs and galleries and museums. I take huge long fuck off walks. I read books outside my comfort zone. I like my opinions challenged by my friends. I am open to almost anything. I'm discovering that you don't necessarily need a drink to enjoy things. I'm remembering why I fell in love with music. I'm making new friends.
