magic and me

She talks to clouds and they respond
Her enchanted dreams are so real
She believes in magic and me
and love that cannot be outshone

The clouds tell her that there's no rhyme
or reason to be unhappy
She believes in magic and me
and a love unbroken by time

Dreams, a happy sanctuary
where her love is happy and true
She believes in magic and me
and perfect love and hearts not blue

40

I'm not your judge and I'm not your jury

I am sanctuary

I can't fix it or make it go away

I am sanctuary

I am your secret keeper, confidante

I'll keep you safe from harm no questions asked

This offer is always open for you

I am sanctuary 

when you need me

oo ee or i'm insecure and unhappy deal with it

wants to be abused it's what he's used to

wants to hide in a bottle of booze too 

can he afford to lose a friend or two 

if you knew what he knew you'd want it too

his friends are many his close friends are few 

you think when he dies people will say who

dying is on his mind permanently 

no running no escape no happily

ever after and no let down gently

just pain just bruises looking angrily

it's not your fault and it never will be

it's all me it's all me and only me

50 challenge

Work's not working

 

System failure, system overload

with your weak comments you can hit the road

Work's not working, you are not productive

I can't stand that lazy initiative

My mind is hazy you're making me sick

no wonder everyone thinks you're a prick

I want to leave and I want to fuck off

but I can't escape, the route's been blocked off

 

The Lost Boy

The Lost Boy sits alone and watches
The Lost Boy is apart from the world
The Lost Boy he wants to get involved
The Lost Boy feels unwelcome, unloved

Who will notice him

and feed him the food

he needs - attention

The Lost Boy looks expectant
The Lost Boy will be let down

He has skills to offer

He has something to give

Who will give The Lost Boy a chance

The Lost Boy is fading
The Lost Boy grows weak

Will you see him in your circle

He's there if you look

The Lost Boy has always been there
He's been there from day one
The Lost Boy just wanted to fit in

But now The Lost Boy is gone

untitled 01/09

you slept while it snowed 
white covered the street

my balance was lost 
nature took its due

wanting to take flight 
with you awakened

over that powder 
cut, stabbed, slashed and bruised

we fly together 
wrapped in heaven

coming down to land 
we have each other

the snow is melting 
but you have my warmth

poem june 08 (2)

(for L)

The dry rattle of the half full washer
mimmicks my nauseating hangover
At least someone's here to help me I thought
Turning for the cool side of the pillow
Memories of the night before shatter
The comfort I was taking in the pain
Solace in the most unconventional
Ways my saviour calls out through the door
Sensing I was awake brings me breakfast
Two Paracetamol and some water
Oh thank you for this one good soul
Thank you.

Drury Lane

Drury Lane, dawn lights my tired steps between
Rival schools I turned my back on the city
Towards the Convent Garden and home to dream
About the trials of the day and my pity
For this, a disappearing community
Hidden from the view of increasing tourists
Battering cobbles past animate statues
To home and the rumour of black death plague pits

Toots

Toots mek me smile, Toots mek me sing
Toots mek riddim come to my feet
Maytal melody flows thru me
The Rude Boys jostle me around
In time I do my reggae march

Heroes

(for T)

There's no Secret Seven nor Famous Five
No Robin Hood, no Band of Merry Men
Just an ever changing circle of friends
And that's all we need, the real life heroes
We see them ev'ryday using their words
To change our worlds with faith and love and trust
Love lies in the hearts and minds of your friends
All you have to do is open your heart
Throw down your arms, embrace experience
Love life forsake the haters' jealousy
It's in your hands just know there are heroes
Guides, real ones, who will help you on your way
So never mind the fairy tales, live life
Make your own adventures
always, always.

poem june 08

(for F)

Your effect on me was immediate
The proverbial breath taken away
Like the first time I saw Lake Windermere
Or the long awaited blissful first kiss
From love long lost to time and memory
Oh so familiar, so comfortable
Yet new, original, fresh and scary
What power from a simple touch or look
Lays me out, cold, crushed almost lachrymal
But now you have to leave I'll miss you and
I will wonder where you went forever

The Dogs

prologue (16 hours)

Drury Lane.
Not the best place to begin
a Bukowski inspired piece.
anyway
My arms, aching from carrying the booze
hung limply by my sides when you appeared.
I thought nothing
just took a beer from the box
and recovered from the stair climb.

The night wore on
friends came and went,
we became friends and went
on until the morning.

I was intimidated
even though you quoted Keats
and treated me like
you knew me forever

It was time to go
and you were busy
singing the song of sleep
and I made do with memories.

-

The track, after a sweaty tube ride
I rode with your lover, my hero.

It felt good to be back
in the fold of friends
old and new.
I was tired though
and all I could manage was
to exchange coy smiles.

I got a beer and struggled with the form
It had been a while after all.

There were couples and I felt nothing
It's not what I'm after, after all
betting slips gathered around my feet
where I sat
on the floor of the grandstand

After you'd gone, I wondered
about your intellect
and my own naivety.

-

Epilogue (the real prologue)

I'm looking forwards to adventures
with new friends
who may even stick around this time

I'll take another beer
and make a toast:
3 syllables for 3 syllables and
cementing future friendships.

The Rain

(for T & F)

The unnecessary confirmation
Came from the positive confrontation
of two. I could never accept, never
believe. My esteem would never let me.
But there it was, on either side of me.
Expressions of truth, trust and confessions.
My silence spoke cliched volumes as your
reassurances dried my dampened eyes.

With plans and promises we said goodbye.
My faith, hope, trust and love restored somewhat.
The next day I woke up happy, refreshed
ready to face the world and it's weather.

Here is another crap poem

I'm halfway through seeing 100 bands this year but am nowhere near reading 50 books. The way things are going I'll probably only read 25 and I'm cheating by reading plays and poetry.

-

Love from Ariel

This picture perfect pair were a Monet
And for what reasons I could never say
They were idols of the way things should be
In love and the pursuit of happiness

I was never close enough to their hearts
Or close enough to see their painful tears
I stood back, kept my impression of them
Intact for the sake of my delusion

The birds of rumour circled their remains
swooping down to feed on romantic loss
This is what I saw, this is how I knew
Of the demise of the perfect picture

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down

Decrepit ruins of lives destroyed by lies

False declarations in conversations

Wasted hope, wasted fear, wasted love

For life gone but not forgotten

Wand'ring through this lonely life

There's no one left but me

It's my own doing

It's my own fault

It's over

Finished

Gone

You have 1 new message

I'm out with my mates
soz hun ill b a bit l8
It's my round boys
what'll it be

Where's my baby
I've been waiting ages
dont b lng luv u xx
I'll just finish this rosé

These Tequilas are going down a treat
Barmaid's well tasty
babes bin eld up b back soon k
Alright love, what's your name then?

He's always doing this
'Enders is boring let me call him
can't reach him maybe he's on the tube
call me when u get this xx
Or maybe he's with his mates

Her name is Tracey
she's finished her shift
and knows an after hours club
Ran into an old friend gonna have a quik 1
dont wori stop txin
Tracey takes my hand and leads me out

He's lying, I know it
Mascara on my cheeks now
have ur drink u bstrd
dnt com bk
where's the Bacardi

Fucking bitch
what, no not you.
pls dnt b like dat i luv u u no
I get some cocktails for us
but Tracey's gone when I get back

Never should've taken him back
More trouble than he's worth
but I love him
im sori pls com home ill w8 up x
why am I doing this to myself

I don't know where I am
I think I drank too much
At least the silly bitch still loves me
on way back baby, home soon yeah
Now where's the bus stop

It's light outside now
I've sent him loads of texts
There's a police cordon on
the breakfast news
despite myself I smile

An extra curricular sojourn into the life of another

I stood in the shade
When you arrived I was bathed in light
She, who was like you, frayed my nerves
unknowingly.
Calm me now while we wait
with baby wipes and cigarettes.
I made bold steps and thought of skin,
the long walk embarrassed me
and the meal lay unfinished.
The longer walk shortened by smiles,
your support lingered long after you'd gone
as the needle made it's journey.

I came out on the wrong side, branded
tripping through tourists,
fiddling with film I heard my name.
We crossed the Styx and made our way to Dis
or Top Shop.
I felt safe with you, my guide.
We made our way west to my eventual departure
Stopping briefly for bikinis, hats and lost earrings
You'd be embarrassed later so I made my way
back to my life.

Bepanthen for the flesh and a song for the heart.

Boozer's Lament freestyle (can't write for toffees)

I don't know why
I gave up booze
or maybe I do
but I won't admit it to myself,
it's better to get by
without asking yourself
too many questions
for fear of an answer
I don't really want to hear.

three months go by
slowly
every bar and pub
an open invite to oblivion
I'm all too willing to take
but what stops me
I made no promises
I told few people
who, no doubt,
are sick and tired
of my bitching and whining

sole
source
solace
sauce
sorry
soul
so long

I feel sad now, (what should I call this?)

You complete cunt, she said,
I looked at her non plussed.
Get out of the damn bed,
seethingly as she fussed
Over the bairn who cried
and pierced my ravaged skull.
I love you babe, I lied
this marriage void and null.
You bastard, I hate you,
She saw through my deceit.
She held my child like glue
away from this deadbeat
my baby calls daddy.
I'm sorry, I attempt
I've handled this badly
Go, she says, with contempt.
Go, please get dressed just leave
Let me kiss my baby
She does with tears of grief
whispering I'll see you,
maybe.

Don't let the bastards grind you down

As a good friend once told me in latin.

It's hard though, to keep your head up
When you're sinking under bureaucracy
And it slowly eats away at your soul,
Mind and body. Incompetent at helm
Four first mates helping us to drown
Even though we're in the same boat

I should jump ship but there's no land in sight
Their white elephants exacerbate me
Screaming in to the depths to just take me
I'm sure I will emerge from the water
I just need the courage to take the plunge