I'm going shopping on Wednesday which should be interesting but I'll have a little help so shouldn't go too wrong.
I woke up this morning feeling rather odd, kinda like empty and apart like I didn't belong I had more fitful sleep with wildly bizarre dreams and a painful headache. it carried on throughout the day and now I'm flitting between numbness and anxiety.
I haven't had a drink for 23 days now and I don't really want to talk about it but feel I need to mention it, some people will say how I'm feeling is connected to drinking but I don't think so, I can usually tell the difference between chemically induced and non-- symptoms. I drank and will do again to damage myself knowingly it's upsetting but it's true I haven't decided to stop to see if I can I know I can I just don't want to, I haven't got a reason to stop now I just have. I've been out a few times and not felt the need to join in the drinking but I really wanted to the other day when I got some upsetting news but a really great friend helped me through it.
My head is so fucked right now, I can't think straight + not at my usual computer and the chair is killing my back. I don't want to take pills for the pain in my head because i don't know that I will stop. I pissed off my friend and don't feel comfortable going to them for help even though they would if I really needed them.
I don't know what's going on. I really don't
2 comments:
i just want to give you a cuddle right now. damn continental united states+atlantic ocean between us.
i want to say it's okay and everything will be alright, but i really don't know. all i know is that i know you have the willpower in you to get through this without resorting to anything drastic. i know that nothing lasts forever, so why should this? keep your chin up. xx
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