Another Snag...

I went to a barbecue on Saturday night. I always get to these things too early so I went to the Trolley Stop for a couple and wandered around the junction passing some of the most beautiful smells coming out of a Caribbean takeaway I wished I wasn't going to eat later so I could try some. The queue was out the door anyway so I headed for the barbecue stopping off to buy a bottle of Wray & Nephew. The building where the hosts live was stunning especially for the part of town and the views from the terrace were sublime the best of which was the orange/red sunset over west London.

I saw a few people I hadn't seen since last year and discussed, amongst other things, depression, children, changing London, relationships. I started off in a fairly breezy mood which steadily turned darker, not that anyone noticed, it's all about keeping up appearances.

Ended up back at home at about 4am and fell asleep roughly 90 minutes later and drifted in and out until I got up at 11am. I haven't really left my room since except to brush my teeth and use the w.c..

-

In other news I have lost my ticket for Serj Tankian and I'm really cross because I can't really afford to lose it or buy another.


These are my upcoming gigs:


The More Assured on the 14th May
Martha Wainwright on the 19th
Dirty Pretty Things on the 27th
Foo Fighters on the 7th June
Toots & The Maytals on the 18th

I'd imagine a few more inbetween.

I care because you do

So I was halfway between dreams and reality around 4:30 in the morning when I decided it would be a good idea to play an album I'd just got. It was a nightmare inducing piece of work, I was breaking out in sweats and starting to panic. Obviously my tired state of mind contributed to the fear and adrenalin coursing through me. It was rather thrilling, I've yet to hear it while fully conscious and am looking forward to it.

An extra curricular sojourn into the life of another

I stood in the shade
When you arrived I was bathed in light
She, who was like you, frayed my nerves
unknowingly.
Calm me now while we wait
with baby wipes and cigarettes.
I made bold steps and thought of skin,
the long walk embarrassed me
and the meal lay unfinished.
The longer walk shortened by smiles,
your support lingered long after you'd gone
as the needle made it's journey.

I came out on the wrong side, branded
tripping through tourists,
fiddling with film I heard my name.
We crossed the Styx and made our way to Dis
or Top Shop.
I felt safe with you, my guide.
We made our way west to my eventual departure
Stopping briefly for bikinis, hats and lost earrings
You'd be embarrassed later so I made my way
back to my life.

Bepanthen for the flesh and a song for the heart.

Tattoo

It's not healed properly yet but here it is...

Back in the arms of my baby and other stories

So I had a drink last night. I knew it would happen soon and to be honest it weren't that bad. The good points were free flowing conversation and a slight buzz. The bad points were the guilt, the dehydration and headache in the middle of the night. I will drink occasionally hopefully not enough to feel the guilt because that's the worst part for me. Even though there's nothing to feel guilty about.

I was sober for a little over 3 months and if I want to do it again I know I can.

I think I should attempt giving up soft drinks because they do more damage to me than the booze.

I have an awful headache right now, it's been coming and going for about a week but I'm trying not to take too many tablets.

Now I'm going to go back to wondering what to wonder about.

B is for Brilliant

I got the boys yesterday and took them to the Barbican, to the Family Film Club where they got to make Bee hats in honour of the film which was Bee Movie.There were roughly 20 other kids there and they all got up on stage to show off what they made, I thought my boys would be too shy to get up but they did. The film itself I thought was fantastic and the kids enjoyed it, it had the usual few jokes for the grown ups as well, Chris Rock was fantastic as a mosquito.

After the film we went to sit by the pond outside the Centre and admired the building from this new perspective (I'd only ever seen it from outside and underneath). We headed back to the tube passing by Mendelssohn's Tree on which someone drew a smiley face and some more graffiti down the steps over the footbridge that read "Muslims are so gay" and wondered whether the same person was responsible for both acts.

So, we got the tube to Bank to get the DLR to Island Gardens but the DLR was down and we ended up going to North Woolwich on the Jubilee instead to wonder around the O2 for a bit. We took a Clipper back to Embankment and got home suitably knackered and lazed watching Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka before taking the boys back.

I made my way back home on the Chingford to Liverpool Street and opened Sylvia Plath's The Colossus, not being able to concentrate on the book I thought about a text I got earlier and decided to act on it, what I didn't realise was that the text was sent 4 days ago and obviously I missed out on the event, one good thing came of it though...

...first there was the bar with no name then there was Betsey Trotwood and more recently the the Prince Arthur. Now there is a new favourite bar and it's the Three Blind Mice, Ravey Street. It's tiny (about the size of my front room), low ceiling (7ft max), 60 different bottles of spirits behind the bar (I know, I counted every single one) and they don't sell after shocks or even red bull, they sell things like Hendricks Gin and Wray & Nephew. The music is fantastic, chilled out trip hop, kitschy french electronica and jazzy Brazilian 60's while I was there. The staff/owners (it seemed as if they cared a lot about the place so am assuming they have more invested in the place than a hired hand) were lovely and even one even asked me about the book I was reading, I love it when people take an interest, not for the attention, it's just nice to share and communicate.

Not a bad start to my week off I suppose.

Seriously Mick you fucker

So I've been reading Bukowski and I really like his style I'm not sure how I'd go about recreating it but I would like to, I think it would suit what I want to say.

I have ideas flitting through my mind before I can write them down, very frustrating. Damn my memory and lack of concentration.

I should be getting my tattoo within the next month or so.

Played a lot of Chaz n Dave at work today which lightened the mood somewhat. I also put a quote on the board which my friend wrote for me in a birthday card in latin which basically means "don't let the bastards grind you down". I took great joy in telling people what it meant and right under the noses of the oppressors, yay. I still don't have the nuts to write "Arbeit Macht Frei" though, bearing in mind the company's country of origin, maybe on me last day or summat.

I have a week off next week and I really need to do summat worthwhile instead of waiting it like I usually do. I'm thinking galleries, museums, gigs, walks and definitely some writing. Oh and get me hair cut it's down past me shoulders now.

Now it's time to go be the bold adventurer and hold up Excalibur.

Boozer's Lament freestyle (can't write for toffees)

I don't know why
I gave up booze
or maybe I do
but I won't admit it to myself,
it's better to get by
without asking yourself
too many questions
for fear of an answer
I don't really want to hear.

three months go by
slowly
every bar and pub
an open invite to oblivion
I'm all too willing to take
but what stops me
I made no promises
I told few people
who, no doubt,
are sick and tired
of my bitching and whining

sole
source
solace
sauce
sorry
soul
so long

Get A day Off

Get sick

Yay me!

A (not very) Comical Psycho-anatomical Encounter

Liver: Hey, Mick.
Me: Long time, no speak.
Liver: I feel great since you gave up the drink.
Me I thought you might.
Psyche: You need a drink!
Me: Who said that?
Psyche: It is I, Psyche, your arch nemesis!
Liver: You leave us alone.
Me: (To Liver) Let me handle this. (To Psyche) Give it a rest would you.
Psyche: You'll never beat me.
Me: Look, I've been out to loads of pubs and clubs and haven't had a drop.
Psyche: Yes but you haven't been out with your drinking pals.
Me: So.
Psyche: You know you'll drink when you see them.
Me: Maybe... but I don't have to see them.
Liver: You tell him Mick.
Psyche: Who does that leave you with, huh?
Me: Friends... Friends who won't pressure me like you do.
Psyche: I'll beat you, one way or another Ill beat you (disappears laughing maniacally)
Liver: Oh Mick, my hero!
Me: Hush now Liver, know this. the battle is won but the war will rage eternally.
Liver: (meekly) I'm scared.
Me: Sissy
Liver: Hey
Both: hahahaha
Me: Hey, wanna go eat a bunch of paracetamol.
Liver: MICHAEL.
Both: hahahaha

Fin