liver let die or worst title ever

Had the boys over on Saturday. The 5 year old was saying things which pierced my soul and he obviously doesn't realise how much it hurts. It was hard for me to hide the pain but I told him not to say such things and made a go of the rest of the day but he misbehaved for the most part and I was exhausted by the time I dropped them home, I didn't tell their mother, she wouldn't care less anyway (about me, not the kids).

I went to a gig later that night and after the first drop of Staropramen passed my lips and slid gently and reassuringly down my throat I resolved to get absolutely, stupidly wrecked. Not the best idea in the world bearing in mind I was angry and alcohol is a mood enhancer as it turned out I behaved well though the lager induced amnesia reminded me of being attacked and felt guilty for not remembering anything like that night. The bits I remember and what I've been told are roughly as follows. Got to Old Blue Last for the gig saw the first band The Human Value who I enjoyed Then The Sessions played followed by Glasvegas this is where it gets hazy, Hey Gravity were playing and I was apparently dancing and I'm sure I remember the singer standing on the bar and holding her hand however I may have made that up I don't remember my friend leaving although he said he saw the last band who were on quite late. I don't remember leaving but I do remember getting a cab to my local instead of going home (stupid). My sister was leaving the pub as I was going in for what turned out to be a lock in. My friend said I was doing the whole your my best friend drunk routine and could tell I wanted to talk (possibly about the boys) but she was angry (not because of me, hopefully but I do believe her when she said it wasn't me) and apparently I didn't mind and carried on as normal. I was behind the bar at one point and I remember having a sambucca but Tina said me and Del were having a sambucca and asked in unison Do you want one I don't remember that. We left to go back to T's house but I had been up since 5 that morning and fell asleep there for a bit then I went home at god knows what time it was light outside.

The next day I resolved never to have a drink again, that lasted not very long at all when I was invited out for a "few". It felt good to be around people and I didn't over do it today although it was a monster session which didn't end till half five the next morning.

It was mentioned, more than once, that I'm getting back to being a more confident Mike like the one I was achieving before being assaulted. I still like to be alone but I am finding it easier to deal with more than one person at a time and being in large groups is less of a chore now and there's less anxiety involved. I still have a long way to go but I'm making steps in the right direction. I do miss being able to go out and not drink like we did when we were young but everything seems to revolve around the pub and drinking, I will be making a concerted effort to do things that don't involve drink and when we do drink I will try to drink less although I am a fool for male bravado and try and drink as much as everyone else then some just need to get over that mentality.

Mick's liver: What in the hell did I ever do to you, you bastard.
Mick: Sorry old son how can I earn your forgiveness.
Mick's liver: Knock the drink on the head for a bit dear boy
Mick's brian, kidneys and various other vital organs: Here, Here!
Mick: OK boys I'll give it me best shot, now where's the tequila.
Mick's vitals: :gasps:
Mick: Just kidding chaps.