Maximo Park

I was taken to see the Park on Wednesday.

It was so good and I was already giddy with excitement. Every time the burst into a new song my heart went bonkers. We were sat in the circle where you are not allowed to stand during the show which was frustrating as hell but I was bouncing away on my seat like a loon. His boundless energy and utterly amazing dancing made me fall in love with him that little bit more if it was possible. I don't have much else to say about the gig really. The support was Stricken City and Noisettes who were good but minor distractions, I was too busy thinking about the Park.

After I told my friend that Paul would be on my list of people you could cheat with and she just looked at me like I was a freak :)

To quote the closing song

You know that I would love to see you next year
I hope that I am still alive next year
You magnify the way i think about myself
before you came i rarely thought about myself

magic and me

She talks to clouds and they respond
Her enchanted dreams are so real
She believes in magic and me
and love that cannot be outshone

The clouds tell her that there's no rhyme
or reason to be unhappy
She believes in magic and me
and a love unbroken by time

Dreams, a happy sanctuary
where her love is happy and true
She believes in magic and me
and perfect love and hearts not blue

A deal with god

I've been meaning to write for a very long time but haven't been able to find the urge to do it.

The emotional rollercoaster that is my life doesn't appear to be stopping anytime soon. It's just so hard to concentrate on anything everything seems to be happening in little twitteresque moments at least in my head. My weight is fluctuating though not greatly am 19-2 at the moment but varying between 18-13 and 19-6, no one seems to believe I'm that weight because I'm six foot two I carry it well but it's still a burden physically as well as mentally. I've made friends ad lost them in a few short months. Wis an absolute nightmare, the job itself is OK but the Team Leaders constant need to find something wrong to justify what they're doing which is basically fuck all is beginning to get to me. My ex is being mean about getting the kids which causes no end of upset. I'm a rational man but when you keep getting battered about it's hard to keep it together.

I feel like I'm falling apart or that my life is falling apart around me and am helpless and hopeless. I don't want to fight anymore.

The light in my room is flickering and it hurts my eyes so I must stop.