Are we really good for eachother? We're just brokenhearted friends who lean on eachother, are we really strong enough to support eachother. I know if you decided it was over that I would follow you in to "the next great adventure" without second thoughts. The reason neither of us do it is responsibility, at least I think that's why. There is always the suspicion that we deserve the to suffer life and it's nothing to do with our strength. Strength, I struggle to find though you replenish me, it only lasts so long because of my selfishness.
I always get this feeling I need others more than they need me. I'm not talking minuscule amounts but a massive difference in need. There is a girl who I love dearly and she means so much to me but I can't shake that feeling she doesn't need me. She is strong and all I can offer is an ear to listen while she talks, not necessarily telling me anything of consequence, I'm just an outlet. We spoke for nearly an hour and a half the other night she makes all the right sounds even though she doesn't have to. Is it out of a moral sense of what's right or does she really care, she says she does but I'm a fool to my paranoia.
I made a new friend a couple of days ago and paranoia strikes yet again. Is it all a con, we spent most of the evening chatting even arranging to meet again. I get really excited when things like this happen but usually it's ultimately painful and I should stop getting so worked up over things others take for granted.
I fuck most things up relationshipwise because of my neuroses.
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